[[*---divinition's anecdote---*]]

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

+Measure of A Man - Clay Aiken+

i suddenly developed an unexplainable affinity for this song. heheh.. recommend it.

If one day you discover him
Broken down he's lost everything
No cars, no fancy clothes to make him who he's not
The woman at his side is all that he has got

Why do you ask him move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth?

[CHORUS]
Would he walk on water
Would he run through fire
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire
Would he give his life up
To be all he can
Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?

If by chance all he had to give you
Was three words wrapped around your finger
Would that be deep enough at the end of every day
And how will you ever know
If a man is what he says?

Why do you ask him to move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth

[CHORUS]

He never gives up
Lets go of his dreams
His world goes around for his one true belief
Is that how you know
Is that what it means?

Would he walk on water
Would he run through fire
Would he stand before you
Would he will be your anchor when the dark unfolds
Would he always love you the best that he knows?

Would he give his life up
To be all that he can
Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?

[CHORUS]

Is that, is that, is that how you measure oh..

Is that, is that, is that... how you measure a man..

[[ Fallen Angel ]]*|2:06 am|

+Solitaire - Clay Aiken+

i'm super sorry for the hiatus. *fucking knnccb connection is super bugging me.. & i've been having a slight block la..*

well you can't blame me for that.. cuz nothin actually happens here.

oh well, i've been through 2 weeks of total and complete isolation frmo the rush and hastiness of real life back in kl. and i fucking miss it. hurr.. complete this week and go home for a week.. (hopefully get to see Paul van Dyk in zouk.. heheh)

and today's the first day i had a decent conversation with other human-like lifeforms here! hahahah.. seriously.. i think me being here will not sharpen my mind by me studying but do the total opposite because i lack human contact. (not that contact with ET isn't bad.. hahahahahaha.. i'm fucking mean.)

met my roommate's friends, (girls btw, but well.. not that dinosaur, but still kinda dinosaur.. *i can't help it that i'm mean! glare.*) and forgot to ask their names.. but jumped right into the conversation la.. so 4 of us were on the table.. and 2 from sarawak, 1 from indonesia and lil ol' me from the hustle and bustle of kuala lumpur baby.. or is it ampang.. hahahhahaa..

anyways. i learned an interesting fact today.. and i'll be talking about it today la..

SUICIDE.

last year, apparently, there was a suicide in the Inti Hostels. some chinese dude from China was told by the education authority that they strongly suggest that this chinese guy, (we'll name him CG.) CG switch his course from law to something else. of course, to thicken the plot, this poor CG apparently has parents who are the type who like to "tar the road to success for their kids".

added pressure from both parties was the most likely cause of the jump from the fourth floor.

of course, to add to the controversy there were also numerous other allegations on why he did "it".. haha.. well no laughing matter.. there's one saying he was trying to climb a floor up to his pal's room, and it so happened that he slipped on that day.. and that he's done it many times before.. (i'd put the pic of him sprawled on the floor up.. but i guess it would be too graphic..)

so now, to the discussion.. i can't believe that anyone in the world would take thier own lives for something that their parents believed in. i mean.. what type of parents are those in the first bloody place? i can never understand parents who in their quest to achieve all that is the best for their children, blind themselves of the fact that maybe sometimes, it should be not what the parents want, but the child. it's their lives for fucking sakes! let them live it. i'm sure you're all with me on this..

secondly, most of the blame can also be forwarded back to the individual who commited that act of selfishness. death is not a way to anything. it never was, it never will be. by commiting suicide, i think that it's only hiding from the problems, and maybe just dropping it all on the people you love and care for you.. i have thought of commiting suicide. once. that was it..

i guess that was one of the times when i was really emotionally pushed.. and i really didn't know who to turn to, or who to ask advice from, or how to deal with it basically.. i guess in the end, the only thing refraining me from commiting that wretched act was my friends.. without the support of my closest friends, i would probably still be comtemplating suicide..

which brings us to another point.. most of the people who think they wanna commit suicide, sometimes just don't have the balls to do it. (no pun intended for the female suicide contemplaters.) isn't it true? that when faced with the prospect of jumping down and ending it all.. putting a stopper to that overflowing waterfall of problems that just keeps going on that cycle.. i guess this is so because of the fact that everyone has to have at least a FEW good memories that they would want to cherish.. and good memories that they would wanna experience again.. i guess on the other hand, the people who really do commit suicide are the worst of the lot.. with no fond memories to stop them from going overboard, no relatives who really understand what they want in life and love them for who they are, not who the parents want them to be.. people who do not have the friends to back you up no matter what, friends who will wade through thick and thin.. friends who listen to your problems but don't stop at that.

hmmm.. back to that guy.. i pity him. he's the perfect example of what could happen to kids nowadays with parents who are too demanding of what they expect from their kids. parents who want to tie a leash on everything their child wants to do. parents who want to see success in every nook and corner of their children but in the end, only see failure on their part to understand his happiness.

these are the parents who should take this event, and remember that they are the backbone of thier children's lives.. children (most of them) strive to make their parents proud.. even though it's not the 1st place finish in class, even though it's not the million dollar contract sealed, even though it's a girl not a boy as grandchildren, even though it's only a diploma in fuckology instead of that PhD in medicine.. (ignore the last one. :D)

parents, don't pressure us.

[[ Fallen Angel ]]*|12:04 am|

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

+Punk - Ferry Corsten+

oh. my. god.

i can't believe it.. i'm finally here.. i'm finally in Inti Nilai. a big word of advice to all who wants to study here (which i am like 90% sure NO ONE) :

You better have stuff to do, or else, you'll grow fat trying to pass time by eating.. I think I will. :(

i'm practically bored my ass off.. and to think that i could at least take away some misery by bringing my comp.. which to a certain extent it did.. but when i brought it here, i realised that i have nothin to do on my comp unless i'm online.. ended up watching 10 episodes of Viva La Bam.

finally, after like 4 hrs of wondering how to connect to the internet here, i finally got it sorted out.. and then, another disaster.. My MSN couldn't connect.. i don't know for what fuck reason or how it all went wrong.. so i had to download a fresh copy and reinstalled it.. tried it again.. and still cannot! KNN.. then i knew it had to be the connection.. then think think think.. why why why like that???

then it struck me.. there had to be AT LEAST 2500 rooms here.. (16 blocks of hostels with 4 lvls each..) so that would make up maybe like 4000 students maybe.. IN FULL CAPACITY la.. but then, at this time there would be maybe only 3000 students living.. and say that maybe HALF had computers.. that would make 3000 people connected to the internet at any one time..

imagine that.. 3000 computers, some surfing some high badwidth site, some may be surfing porn, some watching streaming videos.. and i think almost ALL on MSN MESSENGER.. CONLAN7FIRM lag la! and according to my roommte Inti supposedly invested like 20 million or sth like that on the internet facilities or sth..

now it's like i can only get great connection at the odd hours.. like from 2am onwards.. crappy stuff..

neways.. will update on my classes tomoro... gtg sleep now.. later at 4am, MAN U v Arsenal

[[ Fallen Angel ]]*|12:20 am|